i’m going to try

It occurs to me that I could be documenting Katie’s infancy here- if not to share with others- for myself- and for her amusement later in life… blogging here would also be a nice way of getting things off my chest- cause there’s a lot on my chest lately! No, I don’t mean literally…

Unfortunately I have stopped breast feeding rather recently- I’m really feeling bad about it.  I mean, I can actually nurse her a little bit still- and if I found a better pump (Ihave a lansinoh double electric that seems to not work so well anymore) Icould probably work up to getting some of my milk back (in addition to nursing Katie with the little bit that I am still producing) but its been a bit of a hassle (I’m feeling guilty about feeling that way about BFing) anyway- so that’s just one of the  things on my mind.

What prompted me to actually post (not that I haven’t been thinking about it for a while) is listening to Hubby in the living room taking care of Katie (I’m working this morning).  She is complaining- and he is consoling her- telling her that although she really wants to be able to do it by herself (apparently she is going for the ‘back to front’ roll, she can do the ‘front to back’ roll), she has to be patient and keep trying…

And before I competely forget, I have to share what hubby said the other day.  I was remarking on Katie’s dimple- she has a cute little one when she smiles- she also has them on her knees and elbows and severalother places- so hubby says to me- “well that’s what babies are- a collection of dimples”…. I thought that was cute coming from him.

So, let’s see if I can get into a regular schedule of posting, not that I ever really was.

Sleeping Baby

My friend had her baby yesterday at 8:50AM, a beautiful baby boy.  I was able to visit around 6 pm (waited til hubby came home) and I got to hold him- less than 12 hours old.  What an amazing experience.

I have not held a baby so young before- a tiny “lump” of sleeping human- with the softest little cheeks and the tiniest little chin.  It was surreal- more so because in about three months I will be holding my own lump of sleeping baby.

My girlfriend was alarmingly chipper.  Having weathered an at home birth, she professed to being wired; I suppose it takes a while to come down from the adrenalin and the sheer relief that the birth part over.  I bet today she is tired and sore and I hope she is resting comfortably.

difficult already….

This weekend I decided to sleep in.  Usually I get up at 5:30 on the weekends just like I do on the weekdays – its my time to myself – you know- without the husband.  But this Saturday someone wouldn’t let me sleep.  Katie – like clockwork- started kicking up a storm at 5:30-  there was not a position I could be in that she wasn’t making her presence known.  Finally just got up and puttered around the house.  About 8 or so  I woke hubby up and put his hand on my belly (when I laid back down she started up again…) and he felt her kick!  It was so cool- I have been waiting for him to have tangible evidence (not just an ultrasound pic) that she really is in there.  I told him how she had literally forced me to get up and he thought that was the funniest thing!

 

time for some updates

Okay- so it’s been a while since I last posted, much has happened but mostly stuff I got moody about and I’m sure moody pregnant lady posts would get real boring and obnoxious after a while; I have gotten very good at whining- at least to myself!

Most recently we painted the Nursery- a pretty “pastel sage” color (okay it could pass for lime sherbet but we’ll just play along).  An old high school friend came up to visit and helped Hubby paint; actually he primed and painted- hubby just did a bit of touch up.  My old high school friend also brought up a number of things for us.  We now have an antique rocking chair- the seat of which I will recover.  Also there is a beautiful antique highchair- that is lacking only that little seat belt type strap.  Then there are also the two strollers, the manly diaper bag for hubby, the pile of clothes his friends pressed upon him to bring and a tiny porcelain trinket box with Katie’s first piece of jewelry- a dainty little signet ring.  Oh- and a few noisy toys (thanks!)

While my friend was here we discovered a great children’s consignment shop in Conway- in addition to the Yours Truly stores that are here- its called A kids Dream.  We got 7-8 outfits for $25.00, including some of THE cutest Tommy and Ralph Lauren dresses- things I would not be able to afford at their “new” prices.

We also got our first registry gifts delivered via UPS- the diaper bag I wanted- and the bouncy seat- both awesome and bound to be used frequently.

Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y  Y

I also heard late last week that my wonderful friend from college- who has experienced her own battle with infertility, finally got their “referral”- meaning that they have finally been assigned, for lack of a better word, a child to adopt from China; a beautiful baby girl, who is at this time 7 months old.  The baby was abandoned on the doorstep of a nursing home and taken to a local orphanage. Her name is Yue Mei Xue- I think that’s how it’ spelled- Yue (“last name”)is the name of Yugan (city she was found), Mei is beautiful, Xue is snow, on the day when she was admitted into the orphanage, it was snowing.  They plan on calling her Samantha and keeping Mei Xue as her middle name. Congrats to them- they have been waiting three years for this darling little girl. (see the blog “yearning for a child” in my blog roll for more about my friend)

results are in….

Amnio on tuesday….

Healthy….baby…..GIRL!

I never knew tired before.

I am always tired.   Usually I wake up and lay in bed the last 15 minutes beforemy alarm clock goes off.  This morning my alarm clock woke me up.  I know I am supposed to be tired but, man- I’m really tired.  I also think I’m kind of a wuss.  I mean- sure Iwent through the whole IVF process, needles and all- but the morning sickness – not that I’ve even had a lot- and the tired all the time- I was not made for this.  I have a gut of steel (well mild steel maybe) and it has always been a point of pride that I can get by on 5 hours of sleep, in fact I do better with only 5, maybe 6, hours of sleep- but these things have been challenged, seriously.  Oh, and don’t get me started on concentration, and memory issues- a Friend of mine talked about “pregnant head” to explain some of her ditziness during her pregnancy.  I am now a believer.

On another note; I have not gotten around to looking for a pregnancy diary/organizer.  No idea if I prefer the more delineated “organizer” type or if I prefer the jornaling type. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to go peruse the isles of Barnes and Noble at some point.  Until then…

I promised a gambeson to Hubby- yet another gambeson.  The one I made most recently had a serious flaw- the outer shell fabric was completely the wrong fabric.  I have no idea how that happened.  I had thought it was a more “fine” fabric, but I just wanted to get the thing done and thought it was Hubby’s attempt at spiffing up his kit- but you just look at the thing sideways and the fabric tears.  SO-  Duvant Defender ( I may very well have butchered that) is Father’s day weekend, and I have- I think he said it was 11 days to get a new one made.  boy, I shot myself in the foot.

Prenatal testing

We broached the subject of prenatal testing this week.  Sometime in the next few weeks (June 10th) we will be having the Nucal Translucency scan with the accompanying blood work- where they measure, via ultrasound, the thickness of the back of peanut’s neck – at least that’s how I understand it (actually have found out that it measures the fluid in that area).  This measurement can help identify possible Downs Syndrome (or other chromosomal abnormalities)- the results are much more accurate if the blood work is done at the same time, although I haven’t really read up on it enough to know exactly what they are testing/looking for. 

I did some looking around online to see if I could find a “schedule” of prenatal testing but haven’t found anything that wraps it all up nicely for me.  I will probably have to print a list and then sit down with my sister who used to be a prenatal genetic counselor- I’m sure she could tell me exactly what is what and whether we should bother.   I came across some tests that really worry me- CVS for example- Chorionic Villus Sampling- where they take a sample of “stuff” (tiny villi- villus?) from the inside of the placenta- read as INVASIVE;carries a risk of miscarriage.  This test is akin to an amniocentesis- but can be performed much earlier.  Anyway- I think you get the point- its kind of freaking me out a little- especially since we have come so far just to get here.

And if we discovered  that this lil peanut was in fact a downs baby- I don’t think much would change.  I would be devastated at first- sad that our baby was not be 100% healthy in the terms that we are used to, but I would definitely start learning about raising a kid with downs before he/she came into the world and would be a proud parent regardless.  I don’t think hubby would have an easy time coming to terms with it.  But I understand men have a harder time with stuff like that.

Pregnancy diary

I have to admit: I have not started any kind of pregnancy diary.  I am not quite a quarter of the way through my pregnancy- so I still have some time but Iam stuck trying to decide if I should just keep a journal- in a blank book- or if Ishould buy a fancy pregnancy organizer/diary that will “lead” me through the process of journaling the events of my pregnancy.  On some leavel I would like to scrapbook the events- from all the fertility “crap” and the OB visits and some of the cards and e-mails I’ve gotten to all the physical manifestations, etc…  I also know that if I rely on this method of “historical documentation”- I will never have a record of my time as a pregnant woman!  Did any of you mom’s out there keep any kind of diary/record of your pregnancy?  and those of you who are expecting- do you or will your keep a diary of some kind??

8 weeks

well- I am not the most regular blogger in the world…

So I am 8 weeks!  Excited, a little nervous, and waiting for some “proof” other than the occasional queasiness (I know… I have been lucky) and the ultrasound pics posted by my desk

One fun thing is that there are several pregnant friends who are all due within a couple of months of myself- there’s Kat and Rebecca, there’s Laura at work- due Nov 25 and then there’s Erika at church who is due on the SAME FREAKIN’ DAY as I am- what are the odds??

I did have some bleedind during my 6th week- scared the poop outta me (which I wish I could scare outta me now), but it got me another ultrasound- which really reassured me as well as let me get another look at our lil’ peanut.  I have been released from the care of my reproductive endocrinologist and am now the sole problem of my OB.  I also got to stop getting the shots in my bottom every morning- and my bottom is thankful.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to assimilate my sewing room** into the rest of the house to accommodate the nursery.

**sewing room: place where sewing machine resides- with all the other stuff we can’t figure out what to do with.

 

Well…

We’re pregnant! 

I couldn’t believe it, I had to ask the nurse several times to be sure!

I did get the news on Thursday- but they retest again in 48 hours (which would be today) to make sure the hGC numbers are doubling like they should.  The initial blood test was done at 14 days post retrieval- or 11 days post transfer- and my hCG level was 57; respectable.  I told immediate family and co-workers who knew what was going on (not that they couldn’t have guessed from my rather loud reaction).  Of course there is always a possibility that the numbers won’t rise, etc…so Hubby decided to wait until today’s results to tell his family.  Today my results were 192, I was so pleased- now I can feel more comfortable, although I’ll be a lot happier when we are out of the first trimester!

Please, wish me luck and thank you guys so much for your support, it really means a lot to me.  And Bri- thanks for being the voice of reason!