Amnio on tuesday….

Healthy….baby…..GIRL!

I am always tired.   Usually I wake up and lay in bed the last 15 minutes beforemy alarm clock goes off.  This morning my alarm clock woke me up.  I know I am supposed to be tired but, man- I’m really tired.  I also think I’m kind of a wuss.  I mean- sure Iwent through the whole IVF process, needles and all- but the morning sickness - not that I’ve even had a lot- and the tired all the time- I was not made for this.  I have a gut of steel (well mild steel maybe) and it has always been a point of pride that I can get by on 5 hours of sleep, in fact I do better with only 5, maybe 6, hours of sleep- but these things have been challenged, seriously.  Oh, and don’t get me started on concentration, and memory issues- a Friend of mine talked about “pregnant head” to explain some of her ditziness during her pregnancy.  I am now a believer.

On another note; I have not gotten around to looking for a pregnancy diary/organizer.  No idea if I prefer the more delineated “organizer” type or if I prefer the jornaling type. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to go peruse the isles of Barnes and Noble at some point.  Until then…

I promised a gambeson to Hubby- yet another gambeson.  The one I made most recently had a serious flaw- the outer shell fabric was completely the wrong fabric.  I have no idea how that happened.  I had thought it was a more “fine” fabric, but I just wanted to get the thing done and thought it was Hubby’s attempt at spiffing up his kit- but you just look at the thing sideways and the fabric tears.  SO-  Duvant Defender ( I may very well have butchered that) is Father’s day weekend, and I have- I think he said it was 11 days to get a new one made.  boy, I shot myself in the foot.

We broached the subject of prenatal testing this week.  Sometime in the next few weeks (June 10th) we will be having the Nucal Translucency scan with the accompanying blood work- where they measure, via ultrasound, the thickness of the back of peanut’s neck - at least that’s how I understand it (actually have found out that it measures the fluid in that area).  This measurement can help identify possible Downs Syndrome (or other chromosomal abnormalities)- the results are much more accurate if the blood work is done at the same time, although I haven’t really read up on it enough to know exactly what they are testing/looking for. 

I did some looking around online to see if I could find a “schedule” of prenatal testing but haven’t found anything that wraps it all up nicely for me.  I will probably have to print a list and then sit down with my sister who used to be a prenatal genetic counselor- I’m sure she could tell me exactly what is what and whether we should bother.   I came across some tests that really worry me- CVS for example- Chorionic Villus Sampling- where they take a sample of “stuff” (tiny villi- villus?) from the inside of the placenta- read as INVASIVE;carries a risk of miscarriage.  This test is akin to an amniocentesis- but can be performed much earlier.  Anyway- I think you get the point- its kind of freaking me out a little- especially since we have come so far just to get here.

And if we discovered  that this lil peanut was in fact a downs baby- I don’t think much would change.  I would be devastated at first- sad that our baby was not be 100% healthy in the terms that we are used to, but I would definitely start learning about raising a kid with downs before he/she came into the world and would be a proud parent regardless.  I don’t think hubby would have an easy time coming to terms with it.  But I understand men have a harder time with stuff like that.

I have to admit: I have not started any kind of pregnancy diary.  I am not quite a quarter of the way through my pregnancy- so I still have some time but Iam stuck trying to decide if I should just keep a journal- in a blank book- or if Ishould buy a fancy pregnancy organizer/diary that will “lead” me through the process of journaling the events of my pregnancy.  On some leavel I would like to scrapbook the events- from all the fertility “crap” and the OB visits and some of the cards and e-mails I’ve gotten to all the physical manifestations, etc…  I also know that if I rely on this method of “historical documentation”- I will never have a record of my time as a pregnant woman!  Did any of you mom’s out there keep any kind of diary/record of your pregnancy?  and those of you who are expecting- do you or will your keep a diary of some kind??

well- I am not the most regular blogger in the world…

So I am 8 weeks!  Excited, a little nervous, and waiting for some “proof” other than the occasional queasiness (I know… I have been lucky) and the ultrasound pics posted by my desk

One fun thing is that there are several pregnant friends who are all due within a couple of months of myself- there’s Kat and Rebecca, there’s Laura at work- due Nov 25 and then there’s Erika at church who is due on the SAME FREAKIN’ DAY as I am- what are the odds??

I did have some bleedind during my 6th week- scared the poop outta me (which I wish I could scare outta me now), but it got me another ultrasound- which really reassured me as well as let me get another look at our lil’ peanut.  I have been released from the care of my reproductive endocrinologist and am now the sole problem of my OB.  I also got to stop getting the shots in my bottom every morning- and my bottom is thankful.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to assimilate my sewing room** into the rest of the house to accommodate the nursery.

**sewing room: place where sewing machine resides- with all the other stuff we can’t figure out what to do with.

We’re pregnant! 

I couldn’t believe it, I had to ask the nurse several times to be sure!

I did get the news on Thursday- but they retest again in 48 hours (which would be today) to make sure the hGC numbers are doubling like they should.  The initial blood test was done at 14 days post retrieval- or 11 days post transfer- and my hCG level was 57; respectable.  I told immediate family and co-workers who knew what was going on (not that they couldn’t have guessed from my rather loud reaction).  Of course there is always a possibility that the numbers won’t rise, etc…so Hubby decided to wait until today’s results to tell his family.  Today my results were 192, I was so pleased- now I can feel more comfortable, although I’ll be a lot happier when we are out of the first trimester!

Please, wish me luck and thank you guys so much for your support, it really means a lot to me.  And Bri- thanks for being the voice of reason!

And today I am a wreak.  I am not much good at keeping my emotions in check, in fact I am ruled by my heart and every once in a while my head gets to offer up it’s two cents.  Until now I have been quite calm and positive.  I have felt twinges and cramps in my lower abdomen, which, from what I can tell, is a good sign and I can smell things more intensely.  Other than that, no symptoms.  But then I have to remind myself- IF I am PG at all- its by about a week or 10 days at most- and what kind of symptoms would have time to manifest in that amount of time?

To cut to the chase, this morning after my progesterone shot I burst into tears.  What IF I am not PG?  What am I going to do?  This was it- our one shot.  We don’t have the resources to try again- so I am feeling that pressure.  If I am not PG, I don’t even get a consolation prize, like a puppy.  How does one go on from that place….

yeah, I know- really original post title…

I seriously considered the whole peeing on a stick thing today- although I know that for the time being it is a bit early- 3 day embryos, 5 days post transfer- would hardly have had time to get the hCG into my bloodstream let alone my pee!  However, I find myself wanting (obsessing over) some kind of evidence that something’s brewing.  Come on, Thursday!!

Well, my darling husband has eased up on the protective hovering.  I am finally allowed up from a horizontal or otherwise reclined position.  Although he has been wonderful, I am ready to get up and about; I am so stiff from just laying around!

The transfer was done on Sunday and was a success as far as the procedure itself is concerned.  We tranferred two 6 cell embryos- we got to see them on a monitor before the transfer- just amazing.  they also gave us the “petri dish” they livedin for those three days.  I now have to suffer though the “2 week wait”- the first pregnancy test is done 2 weeks from the date of the retreival- and for me that’s April 17th.  I have gone and put one fo those cheesy tickers in the sidebar- oh, the anticipation!!

So far I have no idications of anything- not that I would, but the progesterone shots are making my boobs *really* tender- not the mention my butt (where the injections given).  I have to hand it to Hubby, I wouldn’t really like to shove a 22 gauge needle in my significant other- no matter where it was.  I didn’t mind giving myself the injections, but I would hate to have to give them to someone else- especially with a needle that large. 

I’ll keep you posted.

Well, there has been some drama.  I had to come to terms with the fact that only three of the five eggs retrieved were able to be “ICSI’d”, and then only two fertilized.  I was devastated because my chance for a second chance cycle was gone.

Today they called us with the day 2 report and we have 2- 2cell “excellent’s”- and that at least gives us a little hope.  The transfer is tomorrow at 9:30, I have to be there with a “partially full bladder”.  I have heard many stories and how long you have to wait with this “partially full bladder” which becomes, in the end, an excrutiatingly full bladder! Can’t wait!

My Mother in Law has a Chrystler 300- nice big “cushy” car, and she called to ask us if we wanted to borrow it in favor of the sometimes ox-cart like ride our Scion gives us.  She was going to accompany us (its actually nice that she asked, and it was done in a very non-Mother-in-Law-poking-her-nose-in-where-it-does-not-belong kind of way).  Then she called back and said we could borrow the car and she wouldn’t come as she was afraid she would be bad luck!